There are times when you stumble upon a piece of media that reflects exactly what you're going through at the time. Such was the case for me when I watched the pilot episode of Pretty Pretty Please I Don't Want to be a Magical Girl by Kiana Khansmith. I saw the episode when emerging from a dark period in my life, and finding myself wanting to get better for the first time in months. Life had thrown one major personal problem after another at me for the past few years, and all I wanted was one normal year; for me, getting better entailed wanting to deal with normal problems for once.

I saw that same desire in Aika. She and I shared a joy for average obstacles like tests and boring school days. I like to think we have the same mindset towards those situations: if this is the biggest problem in my life, then it means I have nothing bigger to worry about.

After a while, joy began to emerge from my desire for normalcy. Every time I lost my mind over something small, I’d take a step back and remind myself to be grateful my life remained uneventful enough for something as minor as a test or my clothes to feel big. After months of struggling to find joy in anything, I found joy in problems of all things.

As of writing this, we still don’t know what happened to Aika to make her stop wanting to be a magical girl, but I know someone recovering from trauma when I see it. Whatever happened, I’m glad she was able to find joy like me.